Thursday, July 19, 2012

Demi Lovato Wants You To Know Miley Cyrus Can Be A Total Bitch


As everyone knows, best friends are awesome. But an unfortunate caveat of the special bond is that youre probably going to get into a vicious, emotional knockdown fight at some stage hitting each other where you know itll hurt the most. Well,Miley Cyrusis really good at that according to on-again/off-again bestieDemi Lovato, who says gets nasty when they go at it. [Miley] and I are strong headed, she tellsSeventeen. When we fight its brutal and were like, Were never going to be friends again! Then two days later, were like, I love you and I miss you! [Radar]

Demi Moores recent confessional about her deepest, darkest body and relationship insecurities is rich with juicy quotes, but also makes us want to fix her a nice cup of tea and give her a cuddle. I would say what scares me is that Im going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that Im really not lovable, that Im not worthy of being loved, she said, adding shes now in a good place with her body but that wasnt always the case. I have had a love-hate relationship with my body. Demi, Earl Grey or English Breakst? [NYDN]

Feeling that they havent sufficiently ruined a generation of tweenage girls with their tomery,Kimand the rest of theKardashianklan have joined forces with the monsters over at Mattel to produce a line of Barbies in their likeness to really seal the deal. Unofficially called Dash Dolls because theyre to be decked out in the milys label, theyll teach girls everywhere the importance of cross-promotion and working hard to make sure your branding reaches Godzilla-like proportions. [E!]

It turns out that celebrities who step out looking slim and trim in the first few months after giving birth make even other stars go, Really? Wow. Though shes yet to drop,Jessica Simpsonsent some lovinJessica Albas way after she saw the actress in some bikini shots four mouths after giving birth to daughterHaven. New goal: look like Jessica Alba after baby, she Tweeted. Job well done, lady! [US]

The low-rent gods took a break from filing their nails and snapping gum to work some of their magic, withCourtney StoddenandChris Crockerjoining teams for the video you never knew you needed. Courtney, I just feel like were kindred spirits, he Tweeted. Shall I make a LeaveCourtneyAlone video? To which our vorite poet replied: Our souls are timelessly connected Chris That video would be such a divine creation! Love you muah! Oh, happy days! [Gossip Cop]

50 Centsays he wont promote any new music because he doesnt think hell liveJessica Alba much longer, while promoting new album. [Baller Status]

The gays and conservative Christians dont get on well at the best of times, butGeorge Michaelhas slammed Christians For A Moral America for praying that his recent bout of pneumonia would put him in the ground. [NYDN]

Its Thursday, so its time forKanye Westto say something egotistical and ridiculous. This time that he wants to pick up whereSteve Jobsleft off. [Huff Po]

Ice-cold hearts shed a single tear afterBen Afflecks kidSeraphinastepped out wearing a T-shirt with a picture of her dad on it. [E!]

Ugh! Its time to shake your fist in the general direction of the sky becauseParis Hiltonsays shes made $1.3 billion — BILLION?! — in the past seven years. [US]

Emma Robertsis deferring college to star in two movies, and ensures future profiles wont rabbit on about how smart she is because she went to college. [US]

Lindsay Lohans latest creepy stalker has been ordered to stay away from her for two years. After that hes free to freak her out again, apparently. [TMZ]

Obviously theyre worth the money, withChris Browns management banning him from doing interviews following theRihannalove Tweet carry-on. [Contact Music]

Clearly divorcing in order to crank out a few classic hits,Katy Perryis said to be writing songs about her split fromRussell Brand. [MTV]

Feel free to squeal with excitement or shake with rage because bothTaylor SwiftandAmanda Seyfriedhave been offered roles inLes Miserables. [Washington Post]

Heidi Klumhits the ice with her kid. In a stroller. Which actually looks like itd be wicked-mad fun. [3am]

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Hollywood


I&8217;ve been very impressed with the way>Jessica Alba&8217;sbody has bounced back from growing a human in it, she had a kid like a few months ago, so I just had to post these pictures of her down in Mexico hanging out in a bikini. Hopefully they&8217;ll be plenty more where this came from because now that I&8217;ve got a taste, I know I&8217;m going to be craving more real soon.

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It&8217;s a pretty rare site these days to get any shots of>Jessica Albahanging out in her bikini, she&8217;s usually walking around in dumpy mom outfits, so these are a New Year&8217;s miracle. Here she is down in Mexico, at least I think it&8217;s Mexico, showing off that killer body we all know and love. Didn&8217;t she just have a baby recently? I think she&8217;s a run for the title of hottest mom ever. She&8217;s got my vote.

view all 11 photos

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Ever since>Jessica Albawent off and got herself a husband and a baby and all that crap, we hardly ever see her in any really y outfits or situations anymore. It&8217;s really kind of annoying how marriage can ruin a woman, but that&8217;s about to change with these shots. Sure she&8217;s not all tarted up in a tight dress or anything, she&8217;s just wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater, but that doesn&8217;t stop her from giving us a great look at her amazing little booty. Good job. Obviously it&8217;s nowhere near as hot as her classic>bikini ass pose, but I&8217;ll take it.

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I thought I&8217;d continue today&8217;s trend of hot women in evening gowns looking gorgeous at some ncy party I wasn&8217;t invited to. Here&8217;s>Jessica Albadoing her thing for the cameras at some event atLincoln Centerlast night. She looks good all dressed up, it&8217;s nice to see her out of the boring mommy uniform she&8217;s always wearing. She&8217;s still got it, she just needs to show it off a little more often. I&8217;m talking about her breasts of course.

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I&8217;m not sure these can be considered great pictures of>Jessica Alba, but every time I see her lately she&8217;s either chasing some kid around or taking her husband for a walk, so it&8217;s nice to see her out on her own for a change. I think the ct that she&8217;s walking through a dirty alleyway makes this crap even hotter, like she&8217;s a badass about to roll some hayseed tourist for his walking around cash. Hot.

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Obviously I&8217;m not a big n of pregnant chicks, it just tells me they&8217;re having with someone else, but I&8217;ve always liked>Jessica Albaso I&8217;m going to try and look past it for this post. Here she is out yesterday running some errands, looking y and&8230;. She&8217;s huge!!! I can&8217;t do it, sometimes if the angle is just right it looks like she&8217;s not all that pregnant, like maybe she just had a big lunch or eight quick beers. But then you get the ones with the sun shining directly on it and it&8217;s casting a shadow and it weirds me the hell out. I&8217;m sorry, call me in a few months. Nice breasts though.

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As much as I don&8217;t like to admit that I&8217;m kind of finding a pregnant lady hot, that&8217;s exactly what&8217;s happening with these shots of>Jessica Alba. Obviously I&8217;m not digging that alien belly of hers, but those big pregnant breasts have got my attention. I&8217;ve heard they&8217;re ice cream out of breast milk these days, not that I&8217;d eat>Jessica Albabreast milk ice cream with maple syrup or anything, but I think there&8217;s a celebrity endorsement opportunity to be had here. Call me.

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I&8217;m sure you&8217;ve heard people talk about pregnant women having a glow, well I&8217;m convinced that a big part of that is their growing pregnant cleavage. Here&8217;s>Jessica Alba&8220;glowing&8221; at some event last night in a nice white pregnant chick dress. I don&8217;t normally find this kind of thing all that attractive, but she&8217;s got to be one of the hottest pregnant women ever. I think I&8217;d even be able to sit through an evening of her breast feeding. I&8217;ll bring the wine.

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Here&8217;s a pregnant>Jessica Albashowing off her mommy in waiting bikini body in Mexico over the weekend. I wouldn&8217;t say that pregnant chicks are at the top of my hotness list, but celebrity bikini breasts are kind of my thing so&8230;. I&8217;m all in. Who am I to turn away a half naked hottie? Although she kinda looks like I feel after a baker&8217;s dozen of delicious ice cold beer&8230; With nicer breasts of course.

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Here&8217;s a pregnant>Jessica Albaout the other still looking good with that &8216;I just got knocked up&8217; kind of glow while she runs some errand or heads to work or something along those lines. She really does look good, especially for a pregnant chick, you can hardly tell she&8217;s got hemorrhoids. I don&8217;t know that for a ct, don&8217;t quote me on it, I just assume that all pregnant chicks are constantly walking around with hemorrhoids. Kids are the worst.

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I&8217;m trying to keep>Jessica Albaon everyone&8217;s hotness radar, but the girl isn&8217;t exactly it easy on me. Almost every time I see her she&8217;s wearing boring mom clothing, this outfit looks like the bibs the Korean ladies wear at the nail salon while you get a pedicure. Or so I here. Anyhow, her body still looks like it might be alright under there&8230; Somewhere. Is it too much to ask to get a few bikini shots? Bring the kids to the beach, I don&8217;t care, I just need to see something.

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Apparently>Jessica Albais in Paris for all kinds of shion shows and ncy parties with people who wouldn&8217;t be caught dead with me unless one of their rebellious daughters married me just to piss them off, so I thought I&8217;d share a few shots of her at some party put together byVoguemagazine. Never heard of it, it&8217;s clearly too highbrow for my taste. Anyhow, she&8217;s really looking pretty damn hot, those breasts and legs are gorgeous, like they should be surrounded by some roasted potatoes and a nice bottle of wine. Tasty.

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I&8217;ve been talking to my therapist about my fetish for hot chicks feeding parking meters, I still don&8217;t think it&8217;s that strange, and he seems to think it all stems from the ct that the coin represents a penis and the coin slot represents a vagina&8230;. Thanks asshole, there&8217;s a hundred and fifty bucks I&8217;ll never see again. Anyhow, here&8217;s hottieJessica Albaslowly slipping slipping her coin into that eager slot the other day. Wait, does this mean I wishJessica Albahad a penis? Now I&8217;m really confused.

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These aren&8217;t really the hottest>Jessica Albapictures I&8217;ve ever seen, but I kind of feel bad for the girl, ever since she squeezed out that kid of hers nobody seems to be taking her seriously as a symbol anymore. Including myself. To be ir, how can we when all we get from her are pictures like this or cameos in crappy comedies? I think it&8217;s time for a hotness overhaul, leave the kid at home, put on your tightest little slut outfit and head out for a night on the town. Until then she&8217;s just&8230; Meh.

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